The Hesitant One
by FireTigerSoul
Summary: Uhura is not quite sure about Spock's proposed 'experiment'.


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A/N: This takes place after The Gamesters of Triskelion. You'll have to read my first fic, The First One, to understand what's happening in this one. This was the first and last time I write from Uhura's POV. It was extremely difficult and I'm not quite sure I like this one. x_x

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Uhura approached the entryway to Spock's quarters, looking up and down the passageway as she did so. Spock had requested of her to meet in his quarters at the end of every shift instead of meeting in the recreation room, as they had been doing for the past few nights.

Ever since the night after the tribble incident, Spock had proposed that they 'explore' their attraction to one another. Even though Uhura knew it was only for his own scientific purposes, she had agreed to it. For quite some time now, Uhura had felt some interest in the science officer, but had to ignore it because she knew nothing would ever come of it.

Startled by a noise, Uhura turned in time to see a crew member exit their quarters and walk the opposite direction. Sighing, she closed her eyes for a moment to still her nerves. What was she doing here? Why did she agree to this? Trying to pursue an interest in a vulcan who displays no emotion was just further proof that she was going insane on this space ship. There was no way this would go any further than simply talking about unimportant matters while Spock observed his own reactions to her and occasionally muttered 'Fascinating' every three minutes or so.

It just wasn't worth it. She knew that she would never allow herself to be hurt, but she simply couldn't see any reason to continue on if she wasn't benefiting from it.

Or was there?

She sighed again and shook her head. She'd been internally debating this issue for most of the hour. Without thinking, she opened the door and quickly stepped inside, waiting for the door to shut behind her. The sight that greeted her was certainly surprising.

"Mr. Spock?" She asked, her tone giving away her surprise.

Spock slowly turned around, halting in the middle of putting his sleep shirt on. "Ms. Uhura," he nodded. "You are exactly three point four minutes early." He pulled the shirt over his head and pulled it down to its proper place. "I apologize for being in a state of undress."

"That's...okay," Uhura manged to form the words even though her mind was still filled with images of his naked, well-formed back. She shook her head as if to clear her mind of the images."Your quarters are closer to the bridge than the recreation room," she explained.

He gave another nod. "Yes, that is certainly true." He turned to the couch that was next to him. "I would assume that after today's events, you would like to be seated?"

"Today's....oh." The landing expedition came back to her in a rush. She hadn't thought twice about it since returning to the ship, which was unusual, especially considering how difficult and brutal it was. Her neck still stung from the training collar that was placed upon her neck. She also sported a bruise to her abdomen from fighting off the sexual attack from her 'trainer'. It just occurred to her that she had neglected to inform Dr. McCoy about it.

She frowned lightly. It was odd that she wasn't that bothered by what had happened. Even while they were on the planet, she wasn't fearful. She should have been just a little worried that the Enterprise would never be able to find them, especially considering they were transported to a planet that was in a completely different system. Perhaps it was because she was with the captain. His persistence and dedication always made her feel at ease in crisis situations on the ship.

"Ms. Uhura?" Spock's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Yes, a seat would be appreciated," She nodded quickly, embarrassed that she had drifted off. She smiled lightly and walked over to the couch, taking her place on one end of it. "Oh, I wanted to say thank you for finding us," she smiled at him. "From what I heard from Dr. McCoy, you were fairly...relentless about it."

Spock sat down on the opposite end of the couch. "There is no need for gratitude, Uhura, as I have done only what I should have done as required of my position on the ship."

"Well you could have given up," she pointed out.

Instead of an answer, Uhura found herself at the receiving end of a very intense vulcan stare. She stared right back, raising an eyebrow in response.

"Fascinating," she heard him mumble.

There it was again. She closed her eyes and shook her head. Those words made up her mind fairly quickly.

"Mr. Spock," she opened her eyes once more. "I don't believe we should continue."

"Continue?" He cocked his head to the side.

"This....experiment of yours," she waved a hand at him. "I don't want to continue."

Spock blinked. "Experiment? Are you referring to my wish to study my own reactions towards you?"

"Yes," Uhura nodded. Something inside of her was telling her that she was making a mistake. The proud, strong woman inside of her urged her on, told her that this wasn't what she wanted. Sure this was the first time in her time on the Enterprise that she had felt anything towards another man, but it didn't mean it was the last.

"Uhura, did I fail to mention?" Spock raised an eyebrow. "My experiment ended days ago."

She frowned, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I decided it would be best to end the experiment as I was not completely objective. I find that although I may observe my own daily reactions, I cannot logically conduct a scientific study on this matter as I find myself emotionally involved," he explained quite simply.

"Emotionally involved?" Uhura repeated, incredulous. "But Mr. Spock, you have no emotions."

"My human heritage...surfaces," Spock explained, sighing heavily. "Emotions are drawn within me, but I do not show them. I simply acknowledge their presence and push them away," he explained. "It is very interesting indeed, as I have rarely had to do this except when you are around."

"Oh?" Uhura's eyebrows lifted. "Wait, so then...if you're no longer studying this ...attraction of yours, then why have you been asking me to meet with you every evening?"

"Since I find myself with occasional emotions around you, I must find some way to control it," he explained. "Which is why I would like to continue our meetings."

"Oh," Uhura nodded, finding herself fighting off an unwelcome sadness. "So you only wish to figure out how to make your emotions go away while you're around me."

"Uhura, my vulcan heritage offers me no option. I must control my emotions. My race feels emotion stronger than humans. It is imperative that I do this," he explained further.

"No, I understand," she sighed, shaking her head. "I just thought...well, it was stupid of me to think that you'd actually want to talk to me just because you enjoy it." She smiled at him, trying to convince him that she was okay with the situation.

A silence settled over the both of them and Uhura felt entirely uncomfortable with it. She looked around the room, noting that the sparsely decorated quarters was at least two times bigger than her own. It struck her as odd that the half-vulcan would not want to make his room feel more like home, but in his own logical mind, he probably felt that decoration was unnecessary. It was an opinion that was vastly different from her own. Her quarters were filled with African statues, paintings, and linen. It reminded her of home and on the rare occasion when she was homesick, it helped her through it.

"Uhura," Spock cut into the silence suddenly. "When we meet...like this...a strange emotion attempts to overtake me." He paused for a moment. "I did not wish to share this as it is something that is unknown to me."

"What are you saying?" She frowned, entirely confused once more, and more than a little annoyed with both the situation and this conversation. How did she get into this again?

"I am saying," he continued slowly in a tone that Uhura had not heard before, "simply, that...I believe....my body experiences...anticipation when I am around you."

"Anticipation?" Uhura tilted her head to the side, considering this new information. Anticipation certainly wasn't anywhere near enjoyment, but it was definitely a step up from the nothing she thought he felt. "Does that mean...you enjoy...spending time with me?" a wry smile made its way onto her face as she lifted one eyebrow.

Spock stared at her. "I have already told you what I feel. It would be illogical to state my position once again."

Uhura laughed, surprising herself. "Of course it would be illogical," she nodded in agreement. She smiled at him and reached out for his hand, ignoring the fact that he immediately stiffened the moment she touched him. "Well then, Spock," a glimmer of amusement entered her eye. "We'll just have to find out more about this...anticipation."

"Indeed," he replied, staring down at his hand, which was currently held firmly in Uhura's grasp. "Might I assume that you are no longer feeling saddened by our meetings?"

"You knew that?" Her eyes widened a tad and her grasp on his hand lessened. If Spock noticed, did that mean the rest of the crew had? The last thing Uhura wanted was to start acting like a sad, lovesick woman on the bridge. It took years of hard work and dedication to get to where she was, and damn it all if she wasn't going to be taken seriously.

He nodded. "It would appear that my mind is growing closer to yours. I am able to feel your emotions," he explained, feeling an odd sensation come over him as he watched his hand slide out of her grasp.

She paused for a moment, then tightened her grip on his hand, relieved that it was only Spock that could tell she had been distracted lately. "Well, I suppose I'm no longer sad," she agreed. "I feel a lot better knowing that I'm not your experiment any longer."

Spock nodded. "I am pleased," he said sincerely.

Uhura knew she was beaming and didn't quite care. She felt herself relax into the cushions of the couch, watching him as he stared at their hands.

"Wait a minute," she frowned suddenly as a thought suddenly occurred to her. She looked down at their hands, hers grasping his tightly. She had dropped his hand two seconds ago, and Uhura knew that she had not pick it back up again.

How exactly did his hand end up in hers again?


End file.
